Trying some new motivation

Okay, so I’m not very pleased with my body lately. I know I’ve already talked about this lately, but it’s definitely been on my mind about 17.5 hours a day (just not when I’m sleeping). I recently ordered a book and a DVD from Amazon.com that is supposed to help with my diastasis. The book is not terribly impressive. I think I may return it. I’m still waiting on the DVD. The latest downturn in my attitude is the fact that most of my jeans have gotten a bit tighter than normal. I wear them when I’m “out and about” (like Noah), but as soon as I get home, I’m running upstairs to put on my sweats so I can breathe again and my skin can recover from the imprint of the button from my jeans. My “favorite” pair of jeans from just a few short weeks ago is now practically my least favorite pair.

I’m not sure what’s going on. I’m still working out an average of 4.53 times per week (per my “Lean You” workout log), but that just means I’ve “worked out” for at least 30 minutes. I admit I’ve been having a hard time running the whole 30 minutes on the treadmill. And when I come downstairs to use my hand weights and do planks and push-ups, I may not be working out for the full 30 minutes. I do much better when I can run outside, but it’s still quite dark when I’m up running in the morning (damn you, Daylight Savings Time!), and it’s still pretty chilly at that time (even though I did run on New Year’s Eve this year in 17 degree weather with a much colder wind chill!). I can’t even make it through and episode of Friends on DVD without looking at the time on the treadmill, hoping it’s been at least 15 minutes! But I’m still pretty active.

I don’t think my diet has been that much worse than normal. I admit that I don’t really monitor my calorie intake very closely. I don’t believe in “dieting.” I truly believe that if I start depriving myself of my favorite foods that I’ll overeat at some point. I try to eat a good amount of fruits each day, as many veggies as I can tolerate (not the best veggie eater here!), and I try to cut down on the carbs. But I’m a carb junkie. “Hi, I’m Saj, and I’m a carbaholic.” “Hi, Saj.” I could eat seven bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast. I could eat about 3 slices of peanut butter toast for lunch. And I’ll gladly polish off a plate of dinner rolls with a pile of spaghetti if given the chance. I’d have a huge belly ache for about 19 hours after that, but it would be worth it.

Oh, and did I mention my addiction to baked goods? Brownies, cake, cookies, breads, these new cherry bars I’ve discovered at the grocery store…all major weaknesses for me. I also really enjoy some cookie dough or tiramisu ice cream on occasion. I suppose it’s more of a sugar addiction than just baked goods, huh? Keeping a bowl of M&Ms or jelly beans on the counter doesn’t help much, either.

So I’m feeling the need to jump start my ass off the couch (where I sit reading about all of my new “friends” on their blogs as my food from the day takes up residence on my hips and belly). I’ve been following Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry (she’s also the one who hands out our “You Capture” challenges) and she’s part of this group at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans. I was intrigued. I feel like my jeans have been shrinking (and I only wash them in cold, sometimes warm, water, and I only dry them on low heat!). But I had to think long and hard about joining this group. Did I really want to publish my weight every week? Do I really want to focus so much on weight? I’ve always believed in just paying attention to how my clothes fit. But then I realized I needed some more motivation.

So here I am. I weighed myself this afternoon, fully clothed, after a lunch at The Original Pancake House, where I scarfed down 5 chocolate chip pancakes and a piece of bacon (did I mention my sugar and carb addiction?). I’m at 128.0. Not so thrilled about that. So let’s go! I’m ready for a change! Maybe I can put off my desired (but totally unaffordable!) tummy tuck!

Anyone else want to join?